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If we were to ask 100 children what they need most from their parents they would say "Please don't give up on me" Sometimes it's dam hard to stick in there with them and their mouths but the reward is well worth the trouble.

WOW Now there is a powerful statement! - PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON ME.

I agree a 16 y/o girl with that attitude... UGH!!!

But PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON ME - how many kids have thought or wished that?

Too many of them are seen here as a result of that same situation.Too many parents gave up. Instead of standing up for what was right for their kids, they gave into society, drugs, alcohol, or whatever and their kids were left behind to fend for themselves.

I am specifically talking about children. When someone turns into their mid-20s & especially in their 30s. At that point they have to make responsible decisions for themselves. They cannot rely on others to care for them forever. Even if they have to hit rock bottom and crawl back out on their own, they have to learn.

Children on the other hand, know no sense of responsibility - they have to be taught. They are mostly incapable of making responsible decisions. I still do not think 16 is old enough to drive a car, nor is 18 old enough to enlist. While some do mature faster than others, there is no way of telling how they will handle the consequences of lost innocence in the long run. We expect way too much from our children at a young age. Other times, some do not expect enough and lable their children to protect them from repercussions of their own actions. In those cases, the parents should accept the responsiblity.

But at some point, these kids have to be able to function in society. By sheltering them, and preventing them from feeling the sting of failure, how are they going to know the pride of success? We need to pay more attention to the good and bad aspects of parenting and our children. If we are not up to the task, then we should not be parents.

It is a thankless, lifelong challenge. Children are not the latest accessory to put away when you are done playing with them. And a mother's guilt lingers long after they have grown. There is no perfect parent on this earth - if there is, she is highly medicated.

But, I think if we take back control of our and our children's lives - we all just might be a little happier for it in the long run.

Who better to teach our children, if not us? We are the carriers of wisdom and tradition. We teach our children to spread their wings and fly. Yes, there will be rough starts and landings, but we teach them to get up and start again. Our purpose is not to make life easy, but to learn from our mistakes. They will have their own to make - they don't need to make ours too!

I was  going to write about persevering, but as I looked it up, I segued into the 7 heavenly virtues and 7 deadly sins... and what I found amazed me... and it got me thinking...

But that is another post altogether....

Not a problem, she-she... glad to help. But, this is no different than what I try to teach my own children. I talk to my kids - now young adults- the same way I talk to people here. I hold them accountable for their actions and they know what is expected of them.But that would do no good, unless I set the example, first and foremost.

Most here know my history and how I came to be here. It has been no easy task, but here I am. I expect my children to do better, and they know that, but again, they need an example to follow the best I can give them is myself. While they are free to make their own choices, they are also required to accept the consquences of their actions. As a result, I have great kids. I am very close to both. I of which is a college graduate, the other is in her 3rd year , on the deans list. Neither has drug /alcohol problems nor are they in abusive relationships.

While we have differing views on God and religion, they are still learning and forming their opinions based on their experiences. I will not shove religion down their throats as it was done to me. If they choose to have a relationship with God , it will be one of their choosing, not mine. Remember, we all are given the freedom of choice and I will not take that from them. Their relationship should be as open and honest with God, as it is with me. I have given them the basics, which they have to build upon, I can only guide them,ultimately, the choice must be theirs.

hmmmmmmmmm... so many thoughts on this... allow me to interject here.....

Having seen both sides of the story, I can attest neither way is perfect ( women working vs women staying at home) but then again, that is not waht the post is truly about. It is about having GOD in our lives. Again, I have seen both sides.

I have seen those who go to church every sunday to profess their Christianity and on monday show their true colors. And I have seen those who have never been to church and are the nicest and most giving people I could ever hope to meet. But then again, there is a difference between religion and GOD.

I do believe that our morals have declined rapidly since the 60's and 70's. We cana't go back, but we can move forward. We need to take back our lives from society and the media. They should not be running our lives and making our decisions for us. No one knows us better than we know ourselves. We need to teach our children and be there for them - not the TV, internet,daycare, schools, or malls. Our children need to learn good values and morals, not that its ok to walk away from responsibilty. They can only learn these things from us - their parents. 

As parents, we need to put an end to the drugs,sex, alcohol and other mind numbing addictions society has bestowed upon us. We need to become focused on what is important - our families. Yes, we do need money to survive - I wil be the first to admit that. But we also need patience and acceptance. Basic principles that we were first taught as children but somehow lost along the way. These are the basic concepts we were first taught. Jesus said,"Love one another as I have loved you."  I don't know about any of you, but I don't need a priest to tell me that. Why is it so hard for us to teach our children this same message?

That love is not going to come wrapped in a big bow , under a Christmas tree or given with the winning lotto ticket. It comes in the form of a hug, a smile, or a warm greeting. Love is not conditional. It is not based on the color of your skin, your age, what you wear, or where you live. The 60's was know as the free love generation - they had more tolerance and acceptance than any other generation - what happened? They grewup into baby boomers who want to do everything to protect our children from everything bad. Let's face it, you need to experience the bad to appreciate the good.

WE need to stop praising our children for everything little thing. They learn from bad experiences. If they do not do well on a test, they should work harder for the next one. If they do not finish first in a race,  then they need to train harder, focus more. Discipline and diet, not drugs, will help your children succeed. WE need to focus more as parents. Basic teachings from the Bible, Torah, Qur'an will help guide you along the way. Each is based on the same principles: love and acceptance, helping each other and doing what is right.

If we can focus on these simple rules, then we can succeed. If we allow the media and society to allow us to stray, then there simply is no hope.

Comment to Ekikaseven:--I couldn't agree with you more about our nation being full of sin and even worse is that our society has actually just accepted it. I have strong opinions as to why and how we have come to this shame that envelopes our nation and the main one starts in the home. Our children have been and are raised by daycare people and sitters and tv's and computers have become the entertainment and learning tools we start our baby's on before their one year old. We opened the door to drugs and sin etc when mothers no longer stayed home with their children and went to "work". I remember coming home from school and my mom would be there for me to talk to and help with my homework and always made sure we (5 of us) had something to eat and we were dirt poor and there were few things we could count on but one of them was that we could count on mom being there for us afterschool and dad always came home about 6:oo and we all ate dinner together and most of the time we ate beans and rice but we ate it together. Now a days as soon as a child can make themselves a p-nut butter sandwich and go poddy on the toilet and dress themselves they pretty much learn what they know from tv and video games and most ot it is violence. Moms aren't home to make sure kids get their chores done or to talk to and maybe wipe tears from a hurt 12 year old that was made fun of because she was so much bigger than the other kids. I started college at 46 and my little 5 years old started kindergarten but I was always home before she got off the bus. She wouls spend an hour telling me all of the magical things she learned that day and together we would make dinner and she would get a quarter for setting the table everynight. Who would have been there to answer her questions and help her do her homework if I were working? The babysitter or daycare person and when she hit puberty who would have answers to all her questions and discuss how her hormones work and why she is starting to like boys differently than she used to like them. Most important of all I was there when she got curious about drugs and some of her friends who were popular were doing drugs and I told her the truth and didn't sugar coat it at all and she continued to come to me with more questions about booze and drugs and smoking etc but the point here is I WAS HOME FOR HER and to this day she thanks me for staying home even though we had to go without many material things it was so worth it. Our future is our children and if they see sin and violence they will go out and eventually and start playing out the roles they see on tv and video games and if we moms do not set some morals and a faith system for our kids they will grow up believing in that pleasures of the flesh and getting high is ok.We have got to get our moms back home being available to our children and I know that some moms have to work but so many do not and work to get away from their children or to afford that new second car or 4 wheeler or new skateboard etc. You don't need all that stuff but your kids need your direction and your kids need spiritual guidence and just the comfort that it's ok just to be a kid and mom is there for you and she is always on your side. How can our kids learn how to become good parents themselves if they don't learn at home. I agree with Ekikaseven that this nation has got to let go and let god and familys have got to get back to being familys or this nation is not long for this world, not the way it was intended to be anyway. Thankyou Ekikaaseven for getting me started on this, I believe with all my heart that the drug and murder rates would go down off the charts if fathers stopped leaving their familys and moms stayed home with their kids. It may sound old fashioned and out of date but it worked for hundreds of years until women decided that having more and nicer things could be hers if she brought home a paycheck as well.Sincerely sheshe030

Hello
This is a well thought out post and good one at that.
I agree we are not promised a another day.
Thank you for the well wishes for us and our nation.
God Bless you
Starshine